I’m so exhausted. It’s around 11a and I still haven’t been asleep. I’ve pretty much been up over 24 hours straight. UGH!!! I really didn’t plan on staying up all night but I started to do some cleaning and time just flew right by me. I’ve also had a lot of things on my mind so that has kind of been keeping me awake at night. For a while I was sleeping a lot because I was taking these pain pills that have a sleep aid in them. I would pretty much fall asleep every time I took them. That was getting to be too much so I stopped taking them and have been just dealing with the pain as well as just taking a regular over the counter pain killer.

I planned on going to sleep this morning but my Gram needed me to do her a favor. I was so tired that I really didn’t want to do it but I did. She just came back right now so I can finally get some sleep! Now I’m kind of getting a fifth wind which isn’t good. I’m sure if I force myself to lie down I’ll eventually dose off. I just hope I don’t sleep the whole day away.

*Waves* Hello people. Is there anyone there? LOL. Probably not. It’s 5:55a on this gorgeous Monday morning. Yesterday was not a great day for me emotionally but I’m determined to make today a great day. It might not be easy but it will happen! I’m still having so many internal battles going on and it’s driving me up the wall. I’m definitely feeling like I need to disappear for a while. Maybe I can just find somewhere to go. Or better yet just leave everyone alone for a minute. I need some me time. I feel like almost everyone wants something from me that I can’t give them. I don’t know. I just have so much on my mind. Tonight I almost burned down my house. I would have if it wasn’t for someone online making a comment about making tea. When she said that it dawned on me that I had the kettle on the stove. I was just about to go to sleep at that moment. I’m so thankful for God’s grace.

One of the things that people most look forward to doing during the summer is going to the beach and swimming. As always I wont be doing any swimming this summer. I’m not sure if I’ve mentioned this before but I can’t swim. When my mom was younger she almost drowned so I guess out of fear I’ve never had the desire to learn how to swim either. Well, actually I want to learn I’m just afraid of putting my fears aside and trusting someone to teach me. I definitely think my mom almost drowning has had a huge effect on me. Because she’s deathly afraid of pools and things she never let me near them when I was a child. Now that I’m older I’ve developed the same fear that she has. I’m not even too comfortable being in the water with those inflatable pool floats. I really want to learn how to swim before I have children. I don’t want to pass my fear on to them.

Hey guys, how are you today? I hope that you guys had a great weekend. My weekend was pretty lovely. I can’t really complain. The only bad thing that happened is I almost died. I think. I’m still convinced that I’m dying but I haven’t actually had any confirmation of that fact. I think the reason that I feel this way is because I started some new medication recently and I’ve been experiencing some weird side effects. I don’t really want to get into that but I’ve been really worried about the way that I’ve been feeling. I definitely need to see a doctor soon. Besides that I’m really looking forward to having a great week. I hope you guys have one as well.